Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
