God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
