My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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