lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
