I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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