I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
