I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
