What a fucking waste of an outfit
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize