Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
