It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
