pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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