Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
