I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize