I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
