it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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