I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So squirting runs in the family.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
