Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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