Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
