There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
