One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
