I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
