It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize