I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
