I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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