i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
