5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
