I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
