There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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