Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize