my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can I color on your dick again?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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