Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
