I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
