I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
