Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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