Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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