God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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