I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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