You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
