He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
