pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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