Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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