Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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