idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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