ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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