I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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