i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
party gras won. party gras always wins.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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