she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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