They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
