Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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