so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
