i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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