Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
