I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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