she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
