you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
