Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
