Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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