Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
