That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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