Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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