the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize