I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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