Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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