I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
