I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
