At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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