The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
